Thursday, May 26, 2011

When Questions You Didn't Ask Lead to Answers You Need

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          I've learned that sometimes the questions you don't ask in a psychic reading provide you the answers you really need.  We don't notice some of the dynamics of a situation when we're in the middle of it, especially something stressful.  Our own emotions can get in the way, and we can't process our thoughts smoothly, nor pick up on intuitive information when it tries to get our attention.  But, the message from Spirit will still get to us, one way or another.



When It's Not the "When," but the "How"

        I'll give you a couple examples of how I have seen this in play in other peoples' readings.  In "Denisha's" (not her name) situation, the answer from Spirit was not the When, but the How.  She wanted to know When "John" would return in her life again (which I sensed was a no-go, he was long gone and not returning).

         I could barely hear her speaking due to the loudness of a noisy anger emanating from her energy (the anger actually had a sound to it, a "vibration").  And I was distracted by what clairvoyantly looked like a "score book" floating around her head.  It wasn't a scorecard, it was a whole book, a ledger full of grudges and resentments she kept front-and-center in her mind regarding John.  I intuited that she frequently reviewed every page of it, again and again, and that during their relationship, she sadistically enjoyed punishing John whenever she was right.

          When I tuned into John's energy, who was not in attendance at the session, I sensed that he had endured a barrage of verbal abuse from Denisha.  It started to disturb me, to be honest.  This lady had an anger management problem.  I was a little surprised because it's more common, I think, to see this dynamic the other way around: the male is commonly the oppressor, and the female the oppressed.  When I honestly pointed out what I sensed, she did not deny it, but just sat there quietly, staring at the floor.  Was she finally making the connection between her behavior and his reaction to it?   Not quite yet.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

How We Shoot Ourselves in the Foot in Committed Relationships

by Steven Stosny, Ph.D.
Psychology Today
Published May 13, 2011

The most loving thing we can say to our partners is, 
"Teach me how to love you."




          At the gates of commitment, leave all illusions behind.  Falling in love is as natural as death. Staying in love is as natural as good diet and healthy exercise.  We can eat, exercise, and love well in the short run, but over the long haul of everyday modern living, we tend to shoot ourselves in the foot.  That's because, like toddlers, we try to do these things in the wrong part of our brains.  Below are two of the major ways we shoot ourselves in the foot when it comes to love.


Toddler-love Mistake #1: The Illusion of Sameness 


          The biggest mistake we make in love is assuming that our partners' experience is the same as ours and that events and behaviors should mean the same to them as they do to us.  The illusion of sameness allows us to create some measure of safety in the face of the awful vulnerability that new intimate connections evoke.  To ward off feelings of inadequacy, we talk ourselves into pleasant delusions:

"Our hearts beat as one." 

"We're soul mates."
"We're so close that we complete each other's sentences."
"She really believes in me."
"He really gets me."