The Two of Swords
Margaret's Fear of Change
Every time "Margaret" walked into the store, I would see the image of the Two of Swords card hovering over her head like a hologram. I never said anything to her about it. I knew that her life was a touchy subject, and she did not want to be forced to "see" what was really happening.
Margaret worked two jobs, in addition to taking care of a handicapped child. A former spouse needed a place to stay, so she let him live there. Big mistake. She already knew he had gambling and drug addictions. His addictions got progressively worse during his residence in her home.
Her children, in their teens and twenties, protested his presence there, but she "loved him still, and didn't want to see him on the street." So, despite her children's wishes, and her better judgment, he stayed. She did not need his money to pay her bills. I am not a psychiatrist or psychologist, but I think it is safe for me to guess that Margaret might have an issue with co-dependency. I got the impression she was addicted to the addict himself.
Margaret had had two or three divorces. She told me in passing that all the spouses, and the boyfriends before and in between her marriages, had been serious addicts of some substance or activity. In her youth she did drugs as well, though she had long since abandoned them in her life. She admitted to having been attracted to the "excitement" and constant drama addicts perpetuate in their lives when she was young. She always held a job and was "the responsible one." It was gratifying for her to try to "rescue" them from their addictions. It gave her a mission, made her feel needed. The co-dependency itself served as a kind of high for her.
While her spouse terrorized her household for those months, she took to drinking every night before bed just to fall and stay asleep. She tried to numb her thoughts about the situation that she didn't want to address. One day, unbeknownst to her, he gambled away her car. But, she still let him stay in the home like nothing happened. More months passed, and the resentment within her children grew. One of her children repeatedly confronted her ex about his behavior, and their hostility finally turned into a physical altercation. With that, Margaret finally found the wherewithal to make him leave.
Codependent No More by Melanie Beattie ( 7-cd set)
Navigating Change
We all have painful decisions we have to make, addressing things we'd rather not address. Margaret avoided addressing two things: her ex's behavior, and her own addiction to it. Sometimes leaving or changing a counter productive relationship, or an unhealthy environment induces deep-seated fear within us. The familiar somehow feels safer, even if we know in reality it isn't better for us. The new at times feels dangerous and harmful, even if we have no indication that it would be that way. It just seems that way.
If the Two of Swords card ever pops into your consciousness, beware! It might be bringing you the message that you are avoiding something you urgently need to address. Take heed, take action. Well before something erupts into an unfortunate incident, diffuse its energy by making the necessary changes while you still have time.
Light a candle and use the Two of Swords card in a meditation to help you garner courage to make a needed change. Visualize the woman in this image finally removing her blindfold. Imagine her then grasping the sword representing the change she needs to make, and proceeding to duel courageously with the challenge at hand. See her choosing to leave the sword of the counterproductive situation behind, discarding it, as she chooses to move toward the right direction for her life.
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Tarot for Writers
Tarot for Your Self : A Workbook for Personal Transformation
Learning the Tarot: A Tarot Book for Beginners
Seventy-Eight Degrees of Wisdom: A Book of Tarot
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