Bittersweet memories, that is all I'm taking with me.
So, goodbye ...please, don't cry.
Whitney Houston, 1963 - 2012
It is said we undergo a life review upon our transitioning
back to the spirit plane ("death"), which makes this video
all the more haunting now, as Whitney's character in the
"The Bodyguard" watches scenes of her life flash by.
And the imagery is also quite poignant to me personally,
in light of a dream I had once...
 |
The "door" of the airplane in my dream
was actually a noren, fabric hung
in doorways and windows in Japan,
like this one in a small apartment. They
represent a change in venue, literally and
metaphorically. |
Death as an Airplane Trip
Singer Whitney Houston, who passed away today, is taking a long trip in Spirit to what some call the "life between lives." The internet of course is plastered with news of her death, and today when I saw the video above embedded in a news report, it reminded me of a dream I had about my mom many years before she passed to spirit. It was one of those uncanny dreams, the kind where you're pretty shaken up when you awaken, and it stays on your mind for weeks, maybe months ...or in this case, years. It was that kind of dream.
She had been born and raised in Japan, and made her transition to spirit in 2008. In the dream, she and I were at a small, private airstrip on a forebodying, windy and overcast day. She stood at the doorway of a private jet, saying things to me mentally because, for some reason, we weren't able to speak to each other verbally. So, she gave me advice, opinons on this and that, various admonitions, telepathically. Afterward, we bowed in the formal Japanese way. Then, she closed the door, and took a seat.
As the jet lifted off, she continued to speak to me telepathically. She took my consciousness on a tour of the plane, room by room, though my body was still standing at the airstrip. As we toured the plane, she explained that she would be on a long trip, so she might as well get used to it there. She had a sense of resignation, but she knew it was trip she had to make by herself. I admired her courage, her ability to gracefully and silently accept her fate. She would have called it, "the Japanese way."
I regularly have precognitive dreams like this. They often come to me in symbolic language. Most of the time I know what they mean, but sometimes I don't. At the time of that dream, my mom was very active and vibrant, perfectly healthy. She worked hard, and had lots of hobbies and friends. So, I had no idea that the airplane trip dream represented aspects of her death, many years later. Why did I dream that dream? All the small details of the dream, such as our not being able to speak to one another, were quite accurate. It would only be after her death that I would know for sure the dream had been precognitive in nature, not just a fluke.
You could ask, "Why why why? Why do I have these dreams?" when you dream things like this. It could happen to anyone, not just "professional psychics," and while it can at times be peace-giving, much of the time it's exasperating. Sometimes people who perceive precognitive information feel guilty, as though they might have somehow created the tragedy they knew was going to happen. This is especially traumatizing for children who spontaneously "see death" as a dark shadow within the auric fields of people who do, indeed, die not long after the child's prediction.
I think it's best to train yourself to just observe and make note of the information (even if it's about you!), then simply file it away. As alarming as it may seem to you, it's not wise to volunteer this information to people, unless an opportunity arises when you are absolutely sure it is 100% necessary and appropriate to do so. You'll know the difference. Otherwise, it does more harm than good, because disclosing unsolicited psychic information would be more for your ego's sake, than for the benefit of anyone around you.
Slipping Away
Some people start slipping away, little by little, long before their bodies actually die. I believe that had been the case with Whitney Houston. Through decades of her cycle of drug abuse and rehab, I saw an early death "on" her. And it wasn't hard to see, really. I saw the same thing on Amy Winehouse, another singer who recently passed. I see it now on a few other celebrities. Something "left" from within them, vital parts of their souls, and it never takes long before their bodies leave, too. There seems to be some deep, inner pain drugs and alcohol can't numb. The pain won't go away, so the people choose to, instead.
It's not uncommon for us to step out of our bodies when we are in great distress. Many rape victims describe a sense that they had stepped out of their bodies and seemingly watched the assault on their bodies from somewhere outside themselves. Since ancient times, it has been the traditional duty of shamans around the world to help "bring back" the parts of us, our "soul parts," which feel too traumatized to return to our bodies on their own. In Spanish the phenomena is called susto, "soul fright."
My mother had already been slipping away from this life long before she died. This is common with people who are close to death, especially when suffering from longterm illness, as my mother had been. They are eager to get out of there, and they succeed in doing so occassionally, though they may not even be conscious of it. On the contrary, they, and those with whom they share these experiences, may dismiss these occurences as odd dreams or random reveries. But mediums, people who are sensitive to the presence of spirit beings, may perceive when sick people have slipped out of their bodies, temporarily for relief or even for good.
So, on several occassions my mother had visited me in her spirit form, while her body, alive and not even comatose, laid ill in the hospital bed. Thanks to these little visits with me, I feel I had had a chance to say my goodbyes to her, though she and I were not able to communicate verbally before she died. Just as she had in the dream, she had a chance to lovingly give me advice, express her opinions about different things, and share her hopes for my future in this lifetime. This gave me great relief and joy then, as it does now.
Adult Children of Addicts
Whitney Houston's adult daughter, Bobbi Christina, no longer has a mother in this life. But perhaps it wouldn't surprise us if she told us that she felt she already lost her mother, and even her father, Bobby Brown, to addiction many years ago. She may feel she never really knew them, their real non-addictive selves, in the first place. These are common feelings of a child when one or both parents, or other primary caregivers, are addicts. I speak from my own experience: I, my brother and mother lived with a volatile, unpredictable addict. Also, I have lost a few close relatives, as well as a very dear friend, to their addictions, too.
Today, the world lost yet another talented artist to hers.
There are so many dimensions of our lives that get affected by the dynamic of addiction. Years ago, I was traumatized about a close relative who was slipping away due to her fear of leaving a violent spouse. There was growing susto within her being. You could see it. Once, she reached out to me for help, though she was opposed to getting professional help of any kind. I called a women's shelter's hotline for advice as to what to do. To my chagrin, the counselor told me, "You can be there for her, but she has want to do this herself. Other than that, you can't help her. At this point, there's nothing you can do."
Despite my assurances of my support, this relative would just not get help. As Whitney Houston had done before the public eye, she too slowly stopped being the person our family knew. I watched her die a death, before her actual death. Her soul left her body more and more with each passing year. What metamorphosized before us was no longer her, but drugs and alcohol taking their toll inside her. Not surprisingly, we finally ended up burying her two years ago.
Now, her spirit visits me occasionally, reminding me of when we took community college courses together in our early twenties --she wants me to remember her looking and sounding exactly as she did then. She wants me to really feel that energy, to remember the sense of happiness we had. I had gone on to finish with a bachelor's degree; she never did. But looking alive and healthy from Spirit, none of that matters to her at all anymore. She cheerfully says to me, "I always admired how smart you were, Elisa," wanting me to remember the happy times, and let the subsequent painful times go from my mind. "So, stop moping around thinking like that, cut it out! Be happy, and live your life, for now!" But nevertheless, her loss still pains me to this day. I think it always will.
Below are several resources that will help you deal with your own addiction, or with that of loved ones around you. Use them. Don't be like the relatives and friends I have lost. If you are the child of an addict, or have loved ones whose addictions affect your life, realize that there is only so far you could go to help them. I have learned that you have to accept that they may be choosing to slip away, for their own reasons, which are usually rooted in some kind of deep, inner pain that, even with your best efforts, you can not heal. Continue to love them, offer to help in any way, but respect and accept their choice to take whatever route they take with their addiction. A lot of pain comes from this experience, I know. So, it's all the more important you take care of your own mind and body, best you can. That's all you can do. Continue to love, always.
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Resources:
Here are links to a variety of 12-step groups for help in recovery for other addictions: List of Twelve Step Groups
If you know you have a drinking problem and want help, go to a local meeting. It's a first step toward recovery. As a rule, new visitors don't have to talk if they don't want to,so there's no pressure on you to "perform." Just go, and work on
healing yourself.
While AA helps those addicted to alcohol, Al-Anon is a program that helps the families and friends of the addicts. Often, the family or friends of the addict need help as much as the addict does, just in a different way. Chances are that in the course of dealing with your addicted loved one you may have developed coping strategies that are not productive to your life in the long run, not in your best interest. You will find other people going through the same thing you're going through, along with other valuable resources.
The 12-step format of AA was so successful that it inspired a similar program to develop for those addicted to narcotics, NA. NA is a worldwide organization and it won't be hard for you to find a nearby meeting.
We are so fortunate to have Sunlight of the Spirit Books and Gifts in Sacramento. If you are an addict looking for help, or are the loved one of an addict and you need help in coping with it, this store has a knowledgeable and caring staff to point you in the right direction. The store also carries a massive collection of recovery-themed books, tons. Many people even visit just for the tranquil atmosphere. You can also order items online through their website. [click on the logo above to visit]
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